When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
