My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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