God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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