Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
