Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
