Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
