he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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