Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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