He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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