Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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