i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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