I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
