i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
that may or may not have been my penis.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
