one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
