I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
