That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so let's talk penis.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
