peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
