You really coming over, don't trick.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
