i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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