I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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