Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
