I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
