you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
