Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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