kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
