so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
