can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
