oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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