Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
