Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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