I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
