I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
