fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
