Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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