Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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