Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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