Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
No subtext here. People are naked.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
