Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
