You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
