In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
