Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
