Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
