I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
