Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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