why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
