Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
