If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She's JV to your varsity
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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