just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
