Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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