Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
