is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
