I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
